1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,760 THE DEFA STUDIO FOR POPULAR SCIENCE EDUCATION 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:05,320 PRESENTS 3 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:06,920 She has a boy-friend. 4 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,960 I saw her yesterday. She was wearing blue jeans. 5 00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:11,920 She was riding her bike. 6 00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:16,640 DO YOU HAVE THE TALK? 7 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,760 BOY-GIRL RELATIONSHIPS PART 1 8 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,240 SCENARIO: 9 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,120 BRIGITTE DIESING GÖTZ OELSCHLÄGEL 10 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,400 PLAYWRIGHT: ERICH LEGLER 11 00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,560 EDITOR: WALTRAUD HARTMANN SOUND: FRED LINDE 12 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:34,800 DECOR: OTTO MÜLLER 13 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:37,360 SCIENTIFIC CONSULTANTS: 14 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,040 GERHARD WITZLACK, PSYCHOLOGIST SIGRID HAUPTVOGEL, EDUCATOR 15 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,600 ASSISTANT DIRECTOR: GERHARD SCHEUNERT 16 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,720 PRODUCER: FRIEDRICH ROCHOW 17 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,800 CAMERA: GÜNTER BIEDERMANN 18 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,480 DIRECTOR: GÖTZ OELSCHLÄGEL 19 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,040 What now? 20 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,400 Why are you crying? 21 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,160 Did something happen? 22 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,360 Anita? 23 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:33,560 Hey! 24 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:37,760 Say something. 25 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:41,920 The same thing every day. 26 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:43,920 What is it? 27 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:45,880 Leave me alone. 28 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:48,680 Don't speak to me like that. 29 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,080 This takes the cake. Do you understand it? 30 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,640 ANITA LOVES PETER. THEY KISSED!!! 31 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,200 11 and 12 year-old boys and girls sit in this classroom. 32 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:04,280 Last month, 3 indecent romance novels, 33 00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,080 and series of photos circulated among them. 34 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,160 17 filthy pictures were drawn, 35 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:13,720 and 9 so-called love notes were written. 36 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:15,240 Why? 37 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,320 How many of you 38 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,560 have heard about the topic we have just talked about 39 00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,920 from your mother and father? 40 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,240 Studies 41 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,240 in several schools 42 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,600 show that only 4% of 11 and 12 year-old students 43 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:36,000 have been educated by their parents about man-woman relationships 44 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,920 and related issues. 45 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,440 That is 40 students out of 1,000, 46 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,480 4 out of 100. 47 00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:45,840 And only one in this classroom. 48 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:50,160 What do parents have to say? 49 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,800 Let's not beat around the bush. 50 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,520 I'm going to be frank, 51 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,480 and I know many parents think like me. 52 00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,200 I hesitate very much 53 00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:08,040 to talk about these things with my daughter. 54 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:13,160 She's been very secretive lately. I just can't bring myself to do it. 55 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,560 I'm the same with my son. 56 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,840 I just can't do it. 57 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,160 I know it's wrong but I just can't. 58 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:25,600 I don't understand why parents should face this alone. 59 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,800 It falls within the school's mission, I mean, the teachers'. 60 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,920 Without going into details but in Biology class, 61 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,600 when they talk about animals, there are lots of avenues. 62 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:38,560 - Sorry? - Is that better? 63 00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,640 No details but from a scientific point of view. 64 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,480 - We must say something. - Wait. 65 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:49,280 And there are many specialized books with lots of answers about this topic. 66 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:51,760 Excuse-me, I don't agree at all. 67 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,080 What? Sex education like they're saying? 68 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,680 It'll only make kids curious. They'll see indecency everywhere. 69 00:03:58,840 --> 00:03:59,920 It's obvious. 70 00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:01,360 No, that's wrong. 71 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:02,840 Excuse me. 72 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:06,880 This sex education doesn't end with one conversation. 73 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:09,240 You do it in stages. 74 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,520 It is part of education from an early age. 75 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,480 Just imagine me one day telling my son: 76 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,400 "You're 12, now's the time for me 77 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:20,800 "to explain to you the difference between boys and girls." 78 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:22,680 It wouldn't work. 79 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,520 What we did is very simple. 80 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:31,400 From the time he was very young, we have tried to answer his questions, 81 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:32,680 very truthfully. 82 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:33,880 It's true. 83 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,760 But to be totally honest, 84 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,760 I still find it hard. 85 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,720 I think we're making too much fuss about it. 86 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:48,400 My son is still only interested in play. He doesn't think of girls. 87 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,800 - At his age? - Yes. 88 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,640 I agree with you. 89 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,640 At 11, 12 years of age, children don't think about sex. 90 00:04:55,800 --> 00:05:00,680 Around 13, 14, maybe. It can start. 91 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:01,840 But not before. 92 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,160 I would go even further. 93 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:10,240 For me, such a topic is a real burden for children of that age. 94 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:15,600 I agree, 11 year-olds have no interest in the opposite sex yet. 95 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,600 Sex education is really unnecessary at this age. 96 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,400 With such sensitive topics, you need to wait as long as possible. 97 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,960 My thoughts exactly. There's still plenty of time. 98 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:28,760 Those who still think so 99 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:33,400 underrate both their children's maturity and their parental responsibility. 100 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:37,760 They let the old home medical guide arouse curiosity, 101 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,640 and be a source of poorly-digested knowledge. 102 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,000 The main topic: 103 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,920 bathroom talk. 104 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:51,880 Hurry up. 105 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,360 A real pig, you know? 106 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,800 - He touched her breast? - Yep! 107 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,000 - Down there too. - Oh, yuck! 108 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:06,120 Here happens, in the worst way, 109 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,040 what parents overlook. 110 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,000 Here is their sex education. 111 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,560 What's up? 112 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,480 We had to turn the sound off. 113 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,120 Some parents look the other way. 114 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,680 They pretend 115 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:24,960 it doesn't exist. 116 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,880 How many educators 117 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:31,680 content themselves with a resigned "It's an awkward age." 118 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:37,040 They don't notice the changes happening within their 12-year-old. 119 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,520 They don't notice 120 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,120 the dark ideas and new feelings 121 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:44,560 creating the first instances of inner turmoil 122 00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:46,120 born from surrounding 123 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,400 stimuli. 124 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,240 Parents shy away, 125 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,920 and leave their children alone on puberty's threshold, 126 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,680 in one of the most complex phases of growing-up. 127 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,800 Old-fashioned prejudice and false shame 128 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:34,600 often intensify children's inner conflicts. 129 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,680 Say, Granny, what are 130 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,840 periods? 131 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:42,640 What are you mumbling? 132 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:45,680 Who told you? 133 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,560 The girls. 134 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,720 You'll learn about it soon enough. 135 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,160 She learned it too late. 136 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,560 She was taken by surprise by a natural process 137 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:09,440 in a woman's life, that she didn't understand. 138 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,520 In whom should she confide? 139 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:15,720 In the teacher? 140 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,000 In her friends? 141 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,200 In her Granny? 142 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,600 We don't mention it. You'll know soon enough. 143 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,200 What are you doing here? 144 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,280 Why aren't you outside? 145 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,040 Why are you crying? 146 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,880 It's nothing. 147 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,120 It was sheer coincidence that the pioneer leader walked by. 148 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,040 But it is definitely no coincidence that the girl trusts her. 149 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:58,920 It is the result of candour and pedagogy. 150 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,480 There is no good education without trust. 151 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:05,480 We can talk naturally about such natural things. 152 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,880 - OK? - Yes. 153 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,760 Stop crying now. 154 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:17,360 And Sigrid, next time you're looking for advice, 155 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,800 or have a question, come to me, I'll help you. 156 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:21,960 Yes. 157 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,480 Now let's go talk 158 00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:24,480 to Granny. 159 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:25,680 Come. 160 00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,280 But she's still a child. 161 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,560 She can't understand. She's only 11. 162 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,680 Children just don't suddenly turn into grown-ups. 163 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,600 It's a process. 164 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,920 We need to guide that process, not hinder it. 165 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:44,760 That's easy for you to say. 166 00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:48,040 I often work late. I hardly see my child. 167 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,560 That's why I came, so we can talk about it. 168 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:57,480 Here's the most important point: let's not turn man-woman relationships 169 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:01,320 and everything they involve, into a secret. 170 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,360 Sigrid's questions must be answered, by us at school, 171 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,920 and by you at home. 172 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,320 That's right. 173 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:13,160 But Grannies can have slightly old-fashioned points of view. 174 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,480 Not only Grannies. 175 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,280 Most parents 176 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,640 know very little about puberty processes. 177 00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:32,640 Sit down. 178 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,760 Between 12 and 13 years old, 179 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:40,280 the hormonal structure of children's bodies changes markedly. 180 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,400 Deep biological changes 181 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:46,120 mark the beginning of sexual maturity and bring about 182 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,560 psychological lability. 183 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,400 They seem to live in constant contradiction. 184 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,920 They stop being children, 185 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:56,440 but aren't adults yet. 186 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:04,040 This process starts 2 years earlier by girls 187 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,240 than by boys. 188 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,160 Who'll read the next one? 189 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,480 Christl, come to the board. 190 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:18,280 Researchers from many countries have shown that this maturation 191 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:23,360 occurs1 1/2 to 2 years earlier in current generations, 192 00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,280 not between 13 and 14 anymore, but between 11 and 12 193 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:28,360 nowadays. 194 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,200 Parents and teachers need to be aware 195 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,920 of these early biological changes 196 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,880 and all their psychological and social effects, 197 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,680 to be able to solve puberty-related issues together. 198 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,120 Several development phases can be distinguished. 199 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:55,400 They overlap even though they're very different. 200 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,440 Very early on, children become aware of the differences 201 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:01,120 between boys and girls. 202 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:06,080 They begin to perceive their gender as something special. 203 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,120 Physical differences interest them. 204 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,400 The excess of youthful energy 205 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:25,320 acted out here is accompanied by a naive, unconscious 206 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,200 erotic interest. 207 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,360 They need to be made aware of their impulses, 208 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,240 to be able to learn how to control them. 209 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,400 Soon, rowdiness turns into dreamy crushes 210 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,560 with the furtive secrecy and vague longings 211 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:53,080 associated with self-discovery. 212 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:57,640 Youths feel so many feelings during that time. 213 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,280 They try to find their bearings in life. 214 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,800 They look for heroes, role models. 215 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,360 They fancy a certain ideal, 216 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,240 without proper measure or discernment yet. 217 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,360 Crushes 218 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:13,600 become idols. 219 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,840 She will laugh about it in a few years, and about herself. 220 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,240 Today however, 221 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,640 do we convey enough measure and discernment to her? 222 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,000 Evelin, help me with the dishes. 223 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,320 Can you hear me? I'm waiting. 224 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,320 Yes, coming. 225 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:43,840 This constant quest for awe-inspiring role models, 226 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:48,440 must be guided deliberately but unobtrusively by all educators. 227 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,280 Nevertheless, the greatest models should be Father 228 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,400 and Mother, 229 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,000 even in the most trivial occurrences. 230 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:59,080 - Let's start. Are you coming? - Yes, I am. 231 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,040 - Are you cold too? - No. 232 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,760 - I've been freezing all day. - That's easy to fix. 233 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:11,480 - Wouldn't it be better with this? - How kind of you. 234 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,720 This and similar instances will later influence Peter's behaviour. 235 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:20,920 Indeed, a half-playful, half-serious need for mutual contact 236 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,520 soon grows within him. 237 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,640 ... stand up and show her to me. 238 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,320 Put your right arm around her. 239 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,440 Hold her tight and keep her warm. 240 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,400 Give me a lovely kiss 241 00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,000 Because I must leave you now. 242 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,520 One starts to experience these old parlour games 243 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,720 as a new kind of highly amusing stimulus. 244 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:48,280 Sour. 245 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,480 Sweet. 246 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,520 One selects, 247 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:01,280 finds one's type and begins proper flirting. 248 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:10,640 The seat on my right is empty, I'm calling 249 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:14,160 Anita. 250 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,920 These are clear signs 251 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:20,960 that the youths are growing 252 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,160 and becoming aware of their gender identity. 253 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,400 1, 254 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,120 2, 255 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,480 3. 256 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:47,200 This phase requires maximum understanding, gentle help, 257 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,840 and character-building guidance from all educators. 258 00:15:56,080 --> 00:16:00,200 Gradually, friendships are formed, often superficial 259 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,600 and short-lived, 260 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,000 sometimes deep and poignantly sincere, 261 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,200 like between Anita and Peter. 262 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,680 Studying together has allowed them to improve their school results. 263 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,560 However today, 264 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:19,040 he needs to tell her something important during class. 265 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:24,240 He wishes to carry her backpack during their field trip tomorrow. 266 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,000 If there's danger... 267 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,160 If there is one. 268 00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:35,120 Who will write it on the blackboard? But in the infinitive, OK? 269 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:50,600 ONE THOUSAND KISSES PETER WHO LOVES YOU 270 00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:12,120 Helpfulness, politeness and sincerity 271 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:16,960 are key factors in the development of feelings of mutual respect, 272 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,000 the basis for healthy boy-girl relationships. 273 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,800 Sex education builds character. 274 00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:33,720 Besides continuous sex education, parents and teachers 275 00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,200 need to give meaning to such little friendships. 276 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,720 Tasks accomplished together benefit all. 277 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,040 Discovering the meaning of work through play, 278 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:02,040 and the meaning of life through work. 279 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,800 Ethical values 280 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,360 are imprinted early, 281 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,800 and will influence their thoughts and critical minds. 282 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,320 Christl here. 283 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:14,120 We meet by the bus at 5. Do you receive me? 284 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,240 Listen, here's an important task for you 2. 285 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,640 - Can you do it? - Yes. 286 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,160 Look for our way back, so you can guide us. 287 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:23,320 Great. 288 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,400 I'm cold. 289 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:39,200 Like parent like child. 290 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:43,560 Peter very naturally copies his father's example. 291 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:49,080 But what seems natural for Anita certainly isn't for her parents. 292 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:54,000 Always fussing with your hair. What about your homework? 293 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,400 - It's finished. - Show me. 294 00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,360 Here. 295 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,360 Coming. 296 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,600 - Anita? - Yes? 297 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,880 - I don't like it. - What? 298 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,200 - You spending all your time with Peter. - What of it? 299 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,960 - Go play with your girl friends. - Why not with Peter? 300 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,600 It is not proper for a girl. 301 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,880 You just want to pry. 302 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,360 - Anita? - Yes? 303 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,040 What's this? 304 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:35,520 Listen. 305 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,920 Peter who loves you. 306 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,840 This can't go on. 307 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,120 At your age? 308 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:45,280 It's ridiculous. 309 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:47,440 Give me my note back. 310 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,280 Of course, you can count on it. 311 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,880 Does her father realize what his irony is destroying within her? 312 00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,480 Her all-important trust. 313 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:14,280 Not these boys but their parents and educators 314 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,760 are to blame 315 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,680 when budding friendships are ridiculed 316 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,600 and trodden upon. 317 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:26,280 Anita loves Peter. Anita loves Peter. 318 00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,920 Did something happen? 319 00:20:58,080 --> 00:20:59,120 Anita? 320 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:01,640 Hey! 321 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:03,760 Leave me alone. 322 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,160 Don't speak to me like that. 323 00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:10,280 That takes the cake. Can you understand it? 324 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,800 Yes, it is perfectly understandable. 325 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:18,720 Such conflicts are usually a way of expressing 326 00:21:18,880 --> 00:21:22,360 that something is wrong with parental education, 327 00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,840 that the youths feel misunderstood at home, 328 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,760 and aren't trusted enough. 329 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:31,520 It is up to us, and us alone 330 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:36,000 whether our children grow into morally stable and creative adults. 331 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,320 We constantly need to keep their trust. 332 00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:42,600 We need to take them seriously, like adults, 333 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:48,080 and to connect their desire for autonomy with a sense of social responsibility. 334 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,800 We will have done our job well 335 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:04,680 if helpfulness becomes an integral part of our children's personalities. 336 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,280 Regard for others 337 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,720 is a prerequisite of regard for the opposite sex, 338 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:12,920 the basis for education of love. 339 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:36,760 Let's get back to work. Sit down. 340 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:39,080 Subtitles: Élisabeth Fuchs