1 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:29,320 INSTITUTE FOR FILM AND IMAGE IN SCIENCE AND EDUCATION 2 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:48,760 HELMUT, 18 YEARS OLD, ALCOHOLIC 3 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,560 Waking up one afternoon, I felt miserable, 4 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,120 and I had nothing left to drink. 5 00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:17,400 I had been back home for 3 days. 6 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:21,280 I only left my room to get something to drink. 7 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:24,560 That afternoon, I had delirium tremens. 8 00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,960 It's like going crazy. 9 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,200 I could hear people outside talking about me. 10 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,760 They were shooting me down. 11 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,600 They were talking 12 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:42,720 about all my crimes, and the reasons why I had left home. 13 00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,560 They were going to report me 14 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,880 and the police would arrest me. 15 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,240 And lots more stuff. 16 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,440 I broke down in the evening. 17 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:56,800 My parents took me to hospital, 18 00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:58,840 where I was put in detox. 19 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,440 My name is Helmut, I'm 18 years old, 20 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,560 and I'm an alcoholic. 21 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,880 Helmut, we're almost here. Are you afraid? 22 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:10,440 Enormously. 23 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:17,640 After my detox, 24 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,400 my social worker drove me to a rehabilitation centre. 25 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,320 Alcohol has destroyed me. 26 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,360 I'm determined to succeed, right? 27 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:40,840 It's going to be tough for you without alcohol. 28 00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,880 Most importantly, you need to stop lying. 29 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:48,880 Yeah. 30 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,400 Will you be there? 31 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:55,360 No, not during the admission interview. 32 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,240 We're here. That's the house. 33 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,680 Rehab was going to free me from my addiction. 34 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:11,960 The admission interview is compulsory when you arrive. 35 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,920 I was terrified because I thought 36 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:19,160 that all the people sitting around me were specialists. 37 00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:22,560 Actually, most of them were patients. 38 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,200 You've been telling us for 30 min that you want to stop drinking. 39 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,560 How are you going to do it? 40 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,440 I don't know. You... 41 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:36,120 You've been here longer. You have more experience. 42 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,640 Come to us. Take off your glasses. 43 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,600 Why? 44 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,120 Take them off. I want to see your eyes. 45 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:45,040 You're hiding behind them. 46 00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,640 You need to come to us. 47 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,960 I won't admit you if I don't know you. 48 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,800 I know neither who you are nor what's up with you. 49 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,320 I don't think you've told us the whole story. 50 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,880 You blame the others. You poor boy. 51 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,720 I've told you everything. 52 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,640 I don't think so. 53 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:09,560 Are you afraid? 54 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:10,760 Yes. 55 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,960 What did you do out there when you were afraid? 56 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:16,440 I got wasted. 57 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:22,400 You've told us that you had a girlfriend, right? 58 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,440 - Yes. - Were you afraid with her too? 59 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,520 Yes. 60 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,800 "Not in the mood", that's all you say. 61 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,440 - What about your weekly report? - Not writing it now. 62 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:37,240 When? 63 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,880 Tomorrow, tomorrow. 64 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,280 "Tomorrow, tomorrow". 65 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,280 You won't be any smarter then. 66 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:49,360 During rehab, I had to think about home. 67 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:53,520 I often thought that my father had turned me into a loser. 68 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:56,880 Look at this mess! 69 00:04:57,760 --> 00:04:58,560 What's this? 70 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,000 Pictures of painted women. 71 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,040 Bullshit! 72 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,080 What? 73 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,640 It's my friend. 74 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,080 - That's bullshit! - So what? 75 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:11,400 - Stop it. - You shit's always lying around. 76 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,360 - Do it for me. - No, no. 77 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,360 That report... 78 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,720 I couldn't stand it 79 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,600 when my mother intervened between my father and me, 80 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:20,800 and cried. 81 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,760 It got on my nerves. 82 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:28,480 I felt guilty so I would walk away. 83 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,040 Write your report! 84 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,040 - Stop it. - Rubbish! 85 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,480 Idler! 86 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,560 - Got a light? - No. 87 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,400 I always wanted to belong to the smart students, 88 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,760 but I couldn't as I couldn't talk as well as them. 89 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,640 I was able to talk with Eva 90 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,280 because I'd known her for 3 months. 91 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,360 Hello. 92 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,640 Hello, Eva. 93 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,480 I don't know what Eva thought. 94 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:03,640 When I showed up with her, people thought I was in school with her, 95 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,600 but I still felt inferior. 96 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:11,120 Why were you so weird? Didn't you want to come in? 97 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,800 Didn't feel like it. 98 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,840 What's wrong with you? You're acting weird. 99 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,200 I wanted to be alone with you. 100 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:24,440 Impossible, I need to study. I have a Latin test tomorrow. 101 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,560 I really can't. 102 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:31,880 Come. 103 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,440 I guess I should go then. 104 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,920 Honestly, it's best. I really need to study. 105 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:44,600 Ciao. 106 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:56,560 You don't notice early on that you're becoming a drinker. 107 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:59,800 I was always drinking with the gang. 108 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:03,160 Someone was always at the disco. 109 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,080 I had beer regularly, 110 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,280 and stronger things too whenever possible. 111 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:11,440 I got plastered at least twice a week. 112 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,000 I had developed a need for alcohol by then. 113 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:17,960 I ordered bubbly for you. 114 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,240 - But I told you that... - You're just a stupid cow. 115 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,280 What do you think you're doing? 116 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:25,600 Go f... 117 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,560 I'm going to Munich to study. 118 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,360 - To Munich? - Yes. 119 00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:33,080 - For your diploma? - You? 120 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,800 - Yes. - Never! 121 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:36,000 Yes. 122 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,320 I've got money from my folks and that bloody job. 123 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:44,840 Right now, 124 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:47,560 I don't feel like working in a garage anymore. 125 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:51,600 - You want more, don't you? - Yes, something like that. 126 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,400 - I'll get a flat in Munich. - How much will that be? 127 00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:04,240 He knocks them back one after the other. 128 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:07,200 Will you drink as much in Munich? 129 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,600 What will you do? All you do is sit around here. 130 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:17,920 You don't have any plans. 131 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,840 - Is this for you? - Yes. 132 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:25,160 Where's your coaster? Why is there one round and 3 beers? 133 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,000 - It's all I had. - What? 134 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,280 One round and 3 beers. 135 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:34,440 - You had 10. - No, 3. 136 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:35,800 And the bubbly? 137 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,240 I only ordered one round and 3 beers. 138 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,200 Bubbly and 9 beers. 139 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,400 I wanted to booze without the others 140 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:48,560 noticing it. 141 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,240 I didn't intend to cheat Schalli. 142 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,320 9 beers and... 143 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:57,760 I'm telling you, I had one beer, 3 beers and one round. 144 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:00,560 You had precisely 9 beers. 145 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:02,520 Schalli, our bills! 146 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,920 What's wrong with you, Helmut? 147 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:11,920 I don't know. 148 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,120 Lend me some dough? 149 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,760 I don't understand. You're always bragging. 150 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:19,720 You have no money. 151 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,160 What are you doing? 152 00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:23,360 I don't know. 153 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,440 You talk about... 154 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,520 You talk about Munich, studying. 155 00:09:30,240 --> 00:09:32,560 Finish your apprenticeship first. 156 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:37,200 I don't feel like it anymore. 157 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,360 The garage is dreadful. 158 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:42,200 You start something and give up immediately. 159 00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:44,720 And you're always drinking. 160 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:48,800 - I don't.. - You're ruining yourself. 161 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:49,840 ...feel well. 162 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,480 I can't cope anymore. 163 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,040 Helmut, are you with us? Sit properly, will you? 164 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,920 You sound like my old man. 165 00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,840 What about your father? 166 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,120 - I don't want to talk about him. - Sit down. 167 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:11,320 You're avoiding the topic again. Face it at last. 168 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,000 I don't want to. 169 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,320 Then why are you here? 170 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:16,600 You always, 171 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,560 you always want me to... 172 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,680 You're expecting me to... 173 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,720 I always need to... I... 174 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:26,920 I can't. 175 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,920 I don't want to talk about him. 176 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:34,240 Can you imagine your father here? Tell him how you're feeling. 177 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,480 You're asking a lot of me. 178 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:40,440 Go on. 179 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:41,840 Try. 180 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,600 Do you want to cooperate or not? 181 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,880 - Ok, Helmut. - You're asking too much of me. 182 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,360 I'm always 183 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,280 supposed to remain seated, 184 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,480 I can't. 185 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,240 Go round and tell each of us: "You're asking too much of me." 186 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,400 Start with Julia and go round. 187 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,760 - Go. - You're asking too much of me. 188 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,760 You're asking too much of me. 189 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:15,880 Loudly. 190 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:32,320 Imagine your father in front of you. Tell him the same. 191 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:33,480 Now. 192 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,800 You're asking too much of me. 193 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,800 You're asking too much of me. 194 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,200 Again. 195 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,400 Again, loudly. 196 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,960 Now, try saying: 197 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,040 "Helmut, you're asking too much of yourself." 198 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,640 Say it to yourself. 199 00:11:57,960 --> 00:12:00,280 You're asking too much of yourself. 200 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,280 - Again. - You're asking too much of yourself. 201 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,520 How do you feel now? 202 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:17,920 It's... There's a... 203 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,800 I don't really know. 204 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:24,640 There's a, something inside of me... 205 00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,600 I'm back to... 206 00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:30,800 I often find, Helmut, 207 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:34,840 that you claim to do more than what you can actually do, 208 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,160 more than what you are able. 209 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,760 Who would like to say something to him? 210 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,160 I agree. 211 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,240 You're always showing off. 212 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:52,840 You've got this image of yourself that you can't attain. 213 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,920 My father viewed me as a loser, 214 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,200 but when I was in the discotheque, 215 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,120 people recognised me. 216 00:13:04,680 --> 00:13:06,520 I was always looking for dough. 217 00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:10,000 Yes, I'd prefer one with a strap on the front. 218 00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:13,880 We don't have any left here, Maybe in the storeroom. 219 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:14,880 Just a minute. 220 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:19,040 My friend was already a salesman. He earned more than me. 221 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,840 What now, Helmut? 222 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,560 Michael, can you lend me 50 marks, please? 223 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,200 - Again? - Yes. 224 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,320 No, I'm fed up. 225 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,880 What do you mean? 226 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:33,040 - Last week, I lent... - You're my friend. 227 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,560 Helmut, I like you but you need to understand me. 228 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,840 You're always asking me for money. 229 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,520 Lend me money, please. 230 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,520 I'll give it back to you on the week-end. 231 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,640 - Lend me 50 marks. - What for? 232 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,960 - I've met this woman. - You and your drinking. 233 00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,880 If I can't go visit her, 234 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,040 it'll be over. 235 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,320 That's bullshit. 236 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,080 - Please. - Helmut. 237 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,800 Here are 20 marks. 238 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,920 I want them back next week. 239 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:21,200 My parents knew I was drinking but not how much. 240 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,640 I tried to hide the alcohol, 241 00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,720 but I couldn't anymore. 242 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,520 There were empty bottles everywhere. 243 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:32,160 I didn't throw them out anymore. 244 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,080 Come over here. 245 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,280 I'm busy. 246 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,720 Brake inspection, here, 247 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,320 on this car, front ones. 248 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:20,760 - Why me? - Do you want to learn or not? 249 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,160 I'm here, ok? 250 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,440 I must say, you are often late. 251 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,800 Mark the wheel. 252 00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:31,600 - The mark's already here. - You forgot the other day. 253 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,800 Do you want to learn something or not, Helmut ? 254 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:38,040 This has nothing to do with the rest of it. 255 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,160 What's wrong with you? 256 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,120 You've been coming in late for weeks now. 257 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,320 You have bags under your eyes. 258 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:50,360 - Yeah. - 2 large ones. 259 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:51,640 Don't use a brush. 260 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:56,160 In school, they told us to use a brush to avoid getting TB. 261 00:15:56,320 --> 00:16:00,600 - What about your smoking, then? - Everybody smokes, so what? 262 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,440 OK, I'm taking the fucking air gun. 263 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,200 Be thorough now. 264 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,240 I came in late but I was trustworthy at work. 265 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,160 He was endlessly talking. It got on my nerves. 266 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,840 I wanted to give up on the apprenticeship, 267 00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,680 but my father demanded that I finish it. 268 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,920 Want a sip? 269 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,160 No, thanks. 270 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,840 ...like a merry-go-round. 271 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:45,040 That foreman, I could break his bones. 272 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,440 Have just one sip, a quick one. 273 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,600 I could blow up that garage if I wanted. 274 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:54,280 I'd love that. 275 00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:00,160 Right, have a drink then send your foreman to hell. 276 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,360 Fucking foreman! 277 00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:05,480 I could blow up the whole joint. 278 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,400 Eva didn't have school that day, 279 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:28,520 and I thought: "Take a day off too." 280 00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:33,080 We hitchhiked to the city. 281 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,720 First, I'm going to tour the USA. 282 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,840 - How will you do that? - My father will pay for it. 283 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:44,320 And when I'm in the USA... 284 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,880 On the road, Eva told me that after graduating, 285 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,360 she wanted to visit relatives in the USA 286 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,040 to go to photography school there. 287 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,400 I thought: "You could travel with her." 288 00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,120 Travelling with Eva'd be great. I dreamt about it a lot. 289 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,920 I'll work in a gas station while you're in class. 290 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:14,480 I don't think it's that easy to find a job in America as a foreigner. 291 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,160 Let's play hooky for a few days. 292 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,840 No, I can't skip classes. 293 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:26,720 If you want to work in America while I go to school... 294 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,720 On that day I thought: "You worry about everything." 295 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:34,760 I wanted to stay with Eva after her graduation. 296 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:38,440 It motivated me to stop drinking. 297 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,600 When we're gone, I'll prove to my old man 298 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:44,680 that I can fend for myself. 299 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,440 That's secondary, 300 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,200 The important thing is to get training, 301 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:50,800 not to prove stuff. 302 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:55,520 My old man needs to stop pressuring me. I can't stand it anymore. 303 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,240 Hey, that's my foreman. 304 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:58,720 - Let's go. - You're mad. 305 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,680 Look, by the phone booth. 306 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:07,880 No, these are too much. That blue, red. 307 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,320 What do you like, then? 308 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,520 I don't know. 309 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:13,160 I like this one. 310 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,280 Let me see. 311 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:16,440 How much is it? 312 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,400 320. 313 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,840 It's nice, it's lovely. 314 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,320 No, I don't want a 320-mark ring. 315 00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:23,680 That's crazy. No. 316 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,000 I don't want it. 317 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:26,600 I don't want a ring. 318 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,680 Would you like a pendant? A little chain? 319 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,240 I'd like a little chain. 320 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,240 - What about these? - That's better. 321 00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,480 We have several patterns and sizes. 322 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,800 - Patterns? - This is a short one. 323 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,720 Yes, it's beautiful. 324 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:46,920 How much is it? 325 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,320 It costs 8 marks. 326 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,960 Yes, that's better. 327 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,440 I tried to wean myself off of alcohol, 328 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,920 I hadn't had a drink in 8 hours. 329 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,960 Helmut, come down! 330 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:09,520 Leave him be, he's poorly. 331 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,360 Come over here, come down! 332 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:13,720 Come on, we can do it together. 333 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,680 He's lazy up there and you need to... 334 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,280 If he can't, just leave him alone. 335 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:21,640 Come down! 336 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,000 So heavy. 337 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:25,480 Come down! 338 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:46,720 That day in my room, with my parents toiling away downstairs, 339 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,440 I couldn't work. 340 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:52,360 I was in a lot of pain because my body needed alcohol. 341 00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:57,360 You're always protecting him. 342 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:02,040 And again today, with that thing we had to carry. 343 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,000 You're always protecting him. 344 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,080 I, on the other hand, try to, 345 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,840 move him forward a little and... 346 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,400 You always undercut me. 347 00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,840 He wasn't feeling well. 348 00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,040 - You should have seen him. - What's wrong with him? 349 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,280 He's shaking and he... 350 00:21:25,840 --> 00:21:28,280 He should drink less and go to bed earlier. 351 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:31,440 He's always hanging out in bars. 352 00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:36,880 You're sitting here, 353 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,760 playing around with your spuds. 354 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,280 You look just as dumb as him. 355 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,200 It drives me crazy. 356 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:46,480 You're asking too much of him. 357 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,360 What do I ask? 358 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,640 He should get, he should have some ambition. 359 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,520 He should apply himself a little, 360 00:21:57,360 --> 00:21:59,960 forge ahead a little, 361 00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,240 properly, 362 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:02,880 like the other boys. 363 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,680 Finally, my weaning pains were so strong 364 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,960 that I reached for pills, 365 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,520 to alleviate the pain. 366 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,240 I had taken pills before. 367 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,040 I mixed them with alcohol 368 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,000 to increase its effect. 369 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:49,920 As I reached for pills, I felt better immediately. 370 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:57,960 My weaning attempt failed that afternoon. 371 00:22:59,120 --> 00:23:03,880 I tried to stop drinking several times. 372 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,360 It made me more and more aggressive. 373 00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,080 One day, after a fight, a social worker picked me up, 374 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:14,280 and I spoke with him about the whole thing. 375 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,120 Do you often fight when you're drunk? 376 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:30,800 From time to time. 377 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,720 That's what I hear. 378 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,600 Are you ever sober? 379 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,440 Seldom. 380 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,280 - Where do you live? - Bahnhofstraße. 381 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,840 Do you have a job? 382 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,720 I've been jobless for 2 months. 383 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:55,680 How do you pay for alcohol? 384 00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,880 I'm on the dole. 385 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,640 That won't last, will it? 386 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:03,520 OK, mate. All done. 387 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,480 Where do you live again? 388 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,400 Bahnhofstraße, 13. 389 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:11,640 You live with your parents? 390 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,880 For the time being. 391 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,040 I'll stop by tomorrow. 392 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:22,680 At 2pm. 393 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,720 Hope you'll be sober. 394 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:33,760 Hello. Want a sip? 395 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,920 No, thanks. 396 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:36,800 Something smells good here. 397 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:39,480 Our lovely Eva! 398 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,320 So funny! 399 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,040 Are the first guests already here? 400 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:48,640 I don't know. 401 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,760 What's happening here? 402 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,440 Great. 403 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:53,840 Put it back, OK? 404 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,080 - Don't touch. - Look at this. 405 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:57,680 It's for the salad. Stop! 406 00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:59,800 What are you preparing? 407 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,840 - A party. - Why didn't you invite me? 408 00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:05,240 Come here.